Category: Marriage God's way
A love that Heals
There is love inside you, a love that heals, a love that shields, and a love that will soon lead you to Holy Matrimony.
I have spent a lot of time with couples moments before they enter into Holy Matrimony, and it is incredible to be able to see that love shining through the eyes of a young bride for her husband and a new husband for his bride.
Today I want to explore that love, to unpack it, study what it means for our lives, and how we can know it’s true.
Let the Bible show the way in 1st Corinthians Chapter 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
In this verse, love is not determined by how we feel; love is determined by what we do.
It reminds me that the Bible is indeed the living word.
Love is patient.
The city of Corinth had lots of questions and even more problems.
And even though, like Vegas, the city was known for its moral corruption, like temple prostitution and jealousy, the apostle Paul planted a church there, and they needed help.
He needed to not only teach them to live like Christ but to shift their entire way of thinking and their concept of what love is.
After all, the government of Rome didn’t practice or preach self-sacrifice.
So how would one of the most morally corrupt cities in the world react to the idea that love is patient?
How do we today react to the idea that love is patient?
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Think back to times when people showed you patients, and how good you felt, how safe you felt, how loved you felt.
It takes more than we can muster to show true patience to your spouse; because true patience is of God, true patience is the fruit of the spirit of God, true patience is the proof you as a husband and Wife belong to God.
In marriage, patients can halt divorce proceedings.
In marriage, patients can put Lawers out of business.
In marriage, patience respects.
In marriage, patients loves.
We don’t feel patient with our spouse; we show patience to our spouse, show it with actions and words that give life.
Love is kind
When is the last time you were friendly to your spouse when you felt anything but, or generous when you had nothing, or considerate when you just wanted to go home?
When was the last time someone did those things for you?
Friendly at a cost.
Generous to a fault.
And considerate consequences be damned?
It’s powerful when you think about it; how profound and rare genuine kindness is in marriage today.
Kindness can put an end to war, make a starving nation thrive, or save a marriage.
It does not envy.
Why would the Holy Spirit move Paul to include this phrase?
In ancient Rome and today, envy a lot of the time equals disastrous results.
Lord knows, I doubt I am right even fifteen percent of the time, but the right amount of envy in the wrong kind of mind equals things like eleven brothers selling the twelfth into slavery.
Joseph’s brothers were envious of his coat and how his father treated him and sold the youngest brother into slavery.
God took what the eleven brothers intended for evil and turned it into good, and Joseph forgave them like any follower of the way should, but still, not cool.
I think having the kind of status that makes people envy you is overrated.
Blessed are the poor in heart, after all.
See Matthew five.
We may have to deal with envious people in the world, but we shouldn’t have to deal with envious people at home, in marriage, but all too often, we do.
In marriage, you and your spouse are one, one spirit, one soul, and one body; we don’t envy our own body.
If our right arm is stronger than our left, we don’t become envious of the right arm; we go to the gym.
It does not boast.
I know a few boasters.
If you permit yourself to be around them, most of the time, you find yourself quite listening to them saying how wonderful, or special, or popular, or brave, or talented they are.
They will go on for hours.
Tough people to show the love of Christ, too, because it’s always apparent that they don’t care to hear a word about you.
In marriage, there is no need to boast; you and your spouse live in intimacy or Into-me-see.
Your spouse sees you for who you are and excepts and loves you anyway.
You see your spouse for who they really are and accept and love them regardless
No, love does not boast.
It is not proud.
We all know how God feels about pride, and I get it.
He created everything.
He gives us grace, gifts, talents, and abilities.
He disciplines us as the true Shepheard and protects us in the valley, so I get it.
To God be all the glory.
I want none of it.
Do you want to serve God or be God?
Do you want to be humble or prideful?
A humble heart can change the course of a mighty sea and turn a mountain into a molehill.
A humble heart will stop an argument before it starts.
It does not dishonor others
The first time a Husband dishonored his Wife happened in Genesis three.
In verse ten, Adam sinned, and when God asked if he ate from the tree, he commanded him not to Adam said.
“The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
From bone to my bone and flesh of my flesh, to the woman whom you gave me.
He dishonored her; he shamed her.
We all fall short, but when we fall, we get back up.
True love is above dishonor.
True love can’t be touched by dishonor.
We have all been done wrong in this world and even had to end friendships or even marriages with those who have hurt or shamed us, but would we shame them back if we had the chance?
Would we dishonor them or forgive them?
Would we give the same grace we pray for every day or expect to receive the grace we are not willing to give?
It is not self-seeking.
It is possible that learning to put the needs of our spouse ahead of our own needs is one of the most challenging aspects of marriage.
Challenging but rewarding.
Challenging because this is a fallen world, and we are a fallen race.
Rewarding because when we work to put their needs above our own, most of the time, they, in return, put our needs above their own.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
The love Christ has for the church was not self-seeking.
How do we know?
He died for the church.
Be filled with the spirit.
It is not easily angered.
In marriage, love is not easily angered but quick to forgive.
Before God, it is easy to forgive your spouse because, under his gaze, you are keenly aware that you need forgiveness.
When we have an unfulfilled marital need, we have a God-given opportunity to give grace to our spouses and forgive them.
A love that is not easily angered is a love that gives life.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
We are taught to forgive and keep no records of the wrong done to us.
And the fact that Christ, in return, will keep no records of how we have wronged him gives us rest, but there is more.
In marriage, we fall short.
We allow our spouse to see in us for who we really are, and even in the most loving of marriages, there is a tremendous amount of forgiveness given every day.
The spirit of God lets it go.
The spirit of God forgives and forgets.
As Husbands and Wives, the Bible teaches us to be filled with the spirit, filled with a love proven by our actions.
Be filled with the spirit!
Every time you look into her eyes, be filled with the spirit.
Every day we have with our spouse, be filled with the spirit.
The Bible teaches that the purpose of your marriage is to glorify God, and you’ve got a head start.
For richer or poorer, your marriage glorifies God.
In sickness and in health, your marriage glorifies God
Through the good times, your marriage glorifies God.
Through the bad times, your marriage glorifies God.
The solid ground of a biblical foundation will give you a firm place to stand as husband and wife.
We have a biblical directive to marriage, a supernatural yet practical mandate that, if followed, won’t fail you.
The father, the son, and the holy spirit live in an intimacy that we as Husbands and wives automatically reflect.
In the beginning, was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1
God gave us his image, and as his image-bearers, the purpose of marriage is to reflect the unity, the diversity, and the equality of God, by simply holding hands.
Be filled with the spirit.
Today hold her hand, let your hand be held, and watch as the world stares in awe of the love you share.
You’ve made a good choice, a choice that will l soon lead you to Holy Matrimony.
This post is meant to encourage you, encourage the good, the wise choices of the past, and the wise choices soon to come.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Fear of the Lord makes you wise, wise enough to see that if a crowd is going, you and your spouse go the other way.
Fear of the Lord is a good starting point for any decision you must make on a day-to-day basis.
My son, if sinners entice you, do not yield to them.
In marriage, you must watch the people who you bring into your life very closely. There are more tragic stories of husbands who let sinners entice them than I could write in this course.
Watch who you invite into your life; watch who you let near your family. If a new or old friend tries to entice you to sin, do not throw in your lot with them.
Show them the door and never let them back in.
If you had repented at my rebuke, then surely, I would have poured out my spirit on you;
I would have made my words known to you. Proverbs 1:20
We all fall short of the glory of God in the choices we make, but the key to making wise choices in marriage is to get back up.
My son, if you accept my words, and hide my commandments within you, if you incline your ear to wisdom and direct your heart to understanding, if you truly call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding, if you seek it like silver; and search it out like hidden treasure, then you will discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2: 1-5
Except his words.
Hide his commandments within you.
Incline your ears to wisdom.
Direct your heart to understanding.
Truly call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding.
Seek it like silver.
Search it out like hidden treasure.
Only then will you discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God.
These words are the words of God to you as you are about to be married.
Take pains to grow in grace. Do what must be done to gain knowledge and understanding, and you will build a home that will bless your spouse and your children.
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
At the highest level, what this verse teaches is to keep God’s glory first in your mind in everything you do, but also in the choices you make.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8
Make decisions based in truth.
Make honorable decisions.
Make decisions based on what the bible tells you is right.
Make decisions based off what the bible tells you is pure.
Make decisions based off what the bible tells you is lovely.
Make decisions based off what the bible tells you is of good repute.
Make decisions based on what the bible tells you is excellent.
Make decisions based on the teaching of the one who is worthy of praise. Jesus Christ
Also, it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet errs. Proverbs 19:2
Stay clear of making premature decisions when you do not have all the facts, material facts, and biblical lessons.
You are leading your wife through the valley of the shadow of death.
All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives. Proverbs 16:2
Examine your motives on every move you make, you will not be the only one. If you are doing something or made a choice with your self-satisfaction at heart, then you are probably making the wrong move.
Live every day for what your spouse wants while your spouse does the same thing for you, and let the world watch in awe of the love you share.
Who can say, ”I have cleansed my heart, I am pure from my sin”’? Proverbs 20:9
Remember to forgive yourself when you fall short because we will, all of us.
Forgive your spouse for when they fall short of the calling God put on their lives.
We fall, but we get up.
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We are so happy for you.
You wanted to be married, you prayed for the right person, and yesterday’s wedding was everything you dreamed it would be.
Now, the day in front of you will be unlike any day you’ve ever lived.
Today you have been given favor, a God-given hedge of protection and support that will guard your marriage, bless your family, your community, and the world around you.
You may be on a Honeymoon, or you may be at home, online before you start the day as husband and wife.
Whatever the case, where ever you are, or whatever you’re doing, here is a tip to make sure your first day of marriage is a beautiful as the wedding.
Be filled with the spirit!
So, before you start your day, before you take your morning walk, eat breakfast, or check the last-minute details for your plans today, asked yourself?
Why did they choose me?
- Was it your smile?
- Your laugh?
- Your cooking?
- Your style?
Although the above things help, let me suggest that the reason you are now married is much more profound.
You have the Spirit of God.
Your spouse knew who you were and judged whether or not you were fit to marry by your fruits and only by your fruits.
They carefully observed you before you were married.
They watched how you treated them and others.
They watched how kind you were, how joyful you were, how patient and self-controlled you were, and fell in love.
So, on your first day as one spirit, one soul, and one body, be filled with the spirit.
Be filled with love.
People try to fake the kind of love you have in your marriage, but you can’t fake something real.
The effortless way you put your spouse’s needs above your own is just one of the things God loves so much about you.
Either we let ourselves be nailed to the cross for our marriage, or we don’t.
Think about the ways that you let the love inside of you shine before you were married.
Was it in the way you sacrificed for her?
Was it in the way you made sure that she ate before you ate?
Did you show love by being fair and encouraging to everyone around her, a trait your spouse took not of a respected?
Or, in the way you helped her elderly parents wash the dishes and take out the trash?
Before you were married, did the love inside of you shine through a beautiful smile that never truly left your face?
Or did it shine through your laugh that your husband just happens to love?
However you did it, you don’t need me to tell you not to stop under any circumstance.
Study that line about Husbands loving their wives like Christ loved the church fifty times before she wakes up if you have to.
Do whatever you have to do, but love your wife like Christ loved the church.
Be filled with joy.
Joy is God-given, rising from the assurance of knowing that God is good, you are not alone, and that you are loved no matter what happens in this world.
This joy inside of you is something your spouse always responded to.
They couldn’t put their finger on it at the time, but they saw it; they knew joy was there, and they wanted it, needed it in their lives.
On this first day of marriage, let that light beam, let the joy in your heart lead every word you say.
Be filled with peace.
Peace specks to peace of mind you feel as you do things like hold hands.
Peace of mind is precious to our spouse.
Knowing you will be true is peace of mind.
Knowing you will not do them harm is peace of mind.
Coming home to a peaceful home is peace of mind.
They saw this peace in you at the beginning and every day since.
On this first day of marriage, give them this peace.
Let peace ring in your heart and your home, and watch as your friends and family wonder how you keep her so happy.
Be filled with patience
Patience Is a virtue, but even more, patience will make your marriage thrive.
In the beginning, you were patient, so patient that the guards came down, and you found yourself in love.
You noticed a few things they could brush up on; you saw a few ways that needed just a bit of polishing; you saw that they still had some maturing to do, but you were patient.
You kept a smile on your face.
And more importantly, they were patient with you.
Now is not the time to change that.
If you feel a hint of impatience welling, cut it out.
Pray it away in the name of Jesus and keep it moving.
If there is a problem today, stop an argument before it starts by trusting the Bible when it says that whenever we think we are right, we are not only wrong, we are blind.
Be filled with kindness.
You’ve always been a kind person, so in the beginning, you didn’t have to fake it, and you don’t have to fake it now.
We encourage you to make kindness a practice in your marriage.
Compile a list of kind things you can do to show her how thankful you are that she is yours.
Be kind to everyone from the mailman to the trashman, be kind to as many people as you can so it becomes easier as time goes by, and watch your spouse fall deeper and deeper in love with you every day.
Be filled with goodness.
The good in you is priceless.
The good in you will bring you more than, in this life, you can imagine and was a crucial factor in your spouse dedicating their life to you.
The goodness in you is more than good; it’s Christlike.
The goodness in you is the guiding light of your marriage
A shining beacon, a signal to the world that you have found the love of your life.
Today is not the day to seal away that goodness.
Never forget it was a good person your spouse wanted in the beginning.
If someone had asked her what type of man she was looking for, nine times out of ten, she probably said.
“A good man.”
It’s the God-given good in you that brought you before the altar of marriage, and no one can take it away.
Be filled with faith.
The Bible teaches that God created marriage so that two imperfect people can lead each other back to him.
If you let it, this biblical truth will comfort you.
Give you peace.
This biblical truth abundantly and above all else gives you rest and even more something to shoot for; the extraordinary ministry of reconciliation.
Keep learning together, keep praying for each other; you were brought together for something beyond the world.
Be filled with gentleness.
Your gentleness is something we often feel like we have to hide from the world, and sometimes we do; however, your marriage is not of this world.
Your marriage is fertile ground for your growth in maturity and Christ, so continue to be gentle.
You got this.
Let God fill you with his hope, his love, and the power to continue to be gentle.
You have experienced some difficult things in this life; we all know it, but in every gentle act lays the seeds of forgiveness for a broken past.
Be filled with self-control
Don’t get me wrong; I want you to have fun today, just not too much fun.
How you control yourself, how you keep yourself in check is a gift from God, so be thankful, and pray for more of it every day.
Now that we have taken a closer look at the blessings given and benefits received be filled with the spirit.
As he wakes up and looks into his new wife’s eyes, be filled with the spirit.
As he opens the door and carries you into your new home, be filled with the spirit.